Number 217 - June 2001

A Manual Shall Come To Thee
by Virtual_Jack - Jan 2001 Danbury Area Computer Society, www.dacs.org
This is your user manual here. My function is to teach you how to use this system that you just bought.     Are you still with me? This is the second paragraph and most of you never make it this far. Now, you just paid a bundle to own this thing, so listen up to what I'm telling you. If you don't, you are incredibly stupid and have wasted your money.     And none of those hokey excuses like you don't do techie, you can't understand the jargon, or that macho "I never read manuals". Here it is, Clyde. If you don't hard read this manual I'm going to burn your sorry You will up the system and it will freeze, hang, and crash.     Now a manual is not your sugar-sweet tutorial holding your hand every step of the way. A manual is boot camp. So shape up and do it by the book.     Now if some parts of this use a bit of math or some electronics term I don't want to see any glassy stares out there. If you don't understand something, it, get some reference and learn it. You're smart enough to earn the money to buy this system, you're smart enough to learn some basic technology.	Another thing I don't want to hear is that there are too many pages. There are never too many pages. You don't have to memorize the whole thing, all you do is remember the sections. Then when you up the system, you know where to look.     There are a lot of new features in this version. Use them. You paid for them. Move your and change your way of using the system.     So get it through your thick skull that you are going to have to work. This manual can't do it sitting in your bookshelf. It gives you the stuff you need to know and can't get from the Help tab. It's there for you and those , pirates that copy the disk, don't have the manual and can't get it.     O.K., now you know what you better well do, let's get started. The design goal for this system, and the implementation of every feature in it is to be USER FRIENDLY. Got that? Next ...     Virtual_Jack is an old, retired computer programmer who always read the manual. Yeah,sure. This column was rendered printable by Marc_the_Meticulous whose comment on seeing the original text was "".
Number 217 - June 2001