Number 213 - February 2001

Dr. Suess Tech Support
Author Unknown - via Sacramento Sacra Blue
There is some great funny stuff that makes the rounds on the Internet. Occasionally, some of it is both clean and about the computer world. When we find those rare gems, we will print them here for everyone's enjoyment.     The authors of these pieces are generally unknown and reach us as a forward of a forwarded message. We would be pleased to identify and credit any original author who sees his or her work (and wants the world to know who he or she is).     [Since the death of Dr. Suess (Theodor Geisel) in 1991, many works have appeared on the Internet that purport to be by the great man himself. Most of these are not suitable for printing. Although I doubt that he wrote this one about technical support, it does fit his style. - Sacra Blue Ed.]     Did you spill on it a glass of Coke?     Did the power supply start to smoke?     Did it go up with a bang?     Did it on the boot-up hang?     Did it read a file wrong?     Did it play its start up song?     Did it open your data disk?     Did your OS come with RISC?     Did the keyboard work at all?     Did you plug it in the wall?     Did the mouse move left or right?     Did your cursor drop out of sight?     Did the printer make your copies?     Did you backup onto floppies?     Did your hard disk icon flip?     Did you check out all the DIPS?	Did you download files off the Net?     Did you check for a virus yet?     Did you re-install your apps?     Did the text appear in all caps?     Did the modem even start to dial?     Did you change any fonts style?     Did you read all errors we've reported?     Did you know that's not supported?     Did you load any brand new drivers?     Did you say you used some pliers?     Did you install memory chips in pair?     Did you...you put the floppy where?     Did you use the free CD we included?     Did you know that problem is warranty excluded?     Did you give all the connections a good tightening?     Did you know you shouldn't run it during lightning?     Did you install system fresh?     Did you the reset button press?     Did the system theme make you frown?     Did you bring the whole network down?     Did everything just work okay?     Did you turn on your monitor's display?     Did you make changes, oh that many?     Did you know there is no key "any"?     Did your problem appear right out of the blue?     Did you know you haven't got a clue!
Number 213 - February 2001